It has come to our attention that we have all gone insane. For those of you who may still be in denial or are unsure of your mental state, we have compiled a list of signs that may indicate you have officially gone insane in law school:
1. you see your pharmacist almost as much as your roommates
2. you dream yourself into cases
3. you write the library as your return address on envelopes
4. you buy not one, but five boxes of girl scout cookies
5. the best part of your week is trivia
6. you are the drunkest person at trivia
7. in fact, the bartenders know you by name
8. worse, there is a drink named after you
9. you ignore people saying "hi" to you because you are on a "mission" aka on the way to the vending machine.
10. you have been at the library for so long that people around you start to resemble food and you consider eating them
11. you are jealous of people with a 60 hour work week
12. you genuinely get mad at non-law school friends for complaining...about anything
13. you struggle to remember what your family members look like
14. you lose ability to do things you were previously able to do- such as; spell, write, tie your shoes, etc
15. you try to make a snow angel..in the ice
16. you have more alcohol in your house than a standard convenient store
17. you have lost all distinction between hot and law school- hot
18. your advice on how to get through the rest of February (which uniquely sucks) is "bend over and hope for the best" ( mike always has a way with words)
19. you hear voices..yelling at you...all the time
20. you were fully convinced that the mice in your house were headed for world domination and personally threatened to take over your house first
21. celebrate the semester being over by sleeping for three days straight
22. you forget how old you are- but you has a feeling it's 20 years more than you were last year somehow
23. you wonder if your friends outside of law school are still alive and if so, why haven't they come to save you yet
24. you hope if your roommate dies you see it so you can get A's
25. you threaten your roommates with a giant candy cane
26. let alone what movies are playing, what is on tv, or anything else in the world
27. you're not sure if there is a world outside of law school anymore
28. you mentally add the cost of the therapy you're going to need to the already ridiculous debt you are going to be in when you get out
29. you vaguely wonder if you won the lottery, if it would even be enough to cover your debt
30. you no longer look when you cross the street because it doesn't really matter anymore
31. you find a comb on the kitchen table- and no one knows who's it is
32. you walk upstairs with only one boot on- and don't realize it until half hour later
33. you try and make an egg mcmuffin and this is what happens
34. you call home to talk to your dogs- yes, talk to them (they look attentive right?)
35. you have no idea what the date is
36. you get called on in class and just start randomly spewing words from the case " the plaintiffs were wearing purple hats because of the demurrer and the trial court dismissed because the defendant was eating salad out of his jurisdiction"
37. you contemplate whether your civil procedure book is written in a different language before realizing that you wouldn't understand it any less if it were
38. you see a mirror and wonder when the last time you brushed your hair was
39. you forget what it's like to sleep
40. you inexplicably find highlighter on all parts of your body
41. you wonder how many of your classmates you will see in AA later in life
42. you would kill a person for a massage
43. you mistake your roommate on the side of the road for a tree
44. This is what your house looks like:
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